I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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