An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
