But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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