i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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