he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So. Much. Porn.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
