That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
