so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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