If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love you.
Bad choice
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