i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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