it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
