Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
