She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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