actually, I'm a sock model
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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