so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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