she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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