Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
