He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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