i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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