whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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