and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
