I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
