So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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