Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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