I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
