too bad you live with your parents still
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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