the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize