dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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