Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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