I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
