3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
