I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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