So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
