Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize