What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
