i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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