Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
