i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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