i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
