508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
