Where is the hickey?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
