My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
