I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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