you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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