Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize