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Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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