they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
