Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
