I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
