I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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