You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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