I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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