I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
