dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
