when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
