I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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