and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
