I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize