Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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