she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.