I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
